Hooked on You Page 20

No, he’s not. I just want him to be.

  With me on my knees, straddling his body, he holds my hips and slowly brings me down onto his very erect cock. He fills me, stretches me to my limit, body, heart, and soul.

  “Yes,” I cry out without shame, loving the way we come together. So damn perfect. No insecurities, no memories of the past haunting us. Just unfettered sex that shakes me to my core. Holding my hips for leverage, he takes control and moves me, powering into me as my hands go to my breasts.

  “Oh, yeah, like that,” he murmurs, sounding like he’s in total agony. “You are so perfect.”

  I blossom under his touch and tweak my nipples, but soon I lose focus to the pleasure between my legs. I ride Nate, wild and unabandoned, my heart free and soaring. How is it that sex with him gets better every time?

  “Nate,” I cry out, my orgasm pulling at me. I hold him a little closer, a little tighter. I don’t want to let go. Ever. “I’m there.”

  “Come all over my cock,” he says, his voice a pleading whisper, like he needs this more than life itself, and I let go.

  “Jesus,” he growls, and pistons into me, as I ride out each delicious wave. My body squeezes his erection, and his grip on my hips—as well as my heart—tightens. I go still, and his mouth opens, but no sound comes as he releases. I savor every pulse as his climax grips him, and when he lets loose a loud moan, I collapse on top of his damp body.

  I take deep, gulping breaths. Contentment and something that I’m afraid to name spreads through me, and I press my cheek to his heart. He moves me off his body and disposes of the condom then comes back with a tissue and wipes between my legs. My stupid heart skips a beat at the thoughtful gesture.

  Silence falls over us as he lays beside me and pulls me onto his chest. A deep-seated satisfaction settles over me as I bask in my post-orgasm delight. We both remain lost in our thoughts, and after a long time, I break the quiet.

  “Nate?”

  “Hmm,” he says, his voice soft, groggy.

  I count the beats of his heart beneath my cheek, which has slowed significantly. “Was your first time with someone special?”

  Warm fingers trail over my hair, and he runs a few strands through his fingers. “Not really, why?”

  “You said something about that the first time we had sex.”

  “Yeah, I remember. I didn’t want to be your first guy, Kira. I…you deserve to give something as precious as your virginity to someone way more special than me.”

  I bite my tongue, stop myself from telling him he is special. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, or think I want more.

  “Has there ever been anyone special in your life?” I ask.

  “Not really. The girls I know… I don’t know. They’re not really interested in me. They like what they see and what’s in my pocket, but they’re pretty superficial, and nothing more can grow from that.” I’m about to ask him what kind of girls he’s been with when he turns the conversation to me. “You?”

  “No.”

  His hand leaves my hair, trails down my bare arm, and goose bumps form in the wake. “That surprises me.”

  “The men from my world… Well, they’re different.”

  “Different how?”

  “Most see me as a lab coat, not a woman,” I admit honestly. “You know, when I first arrived here, I actually said to myself that I wish a man would want me for my body and not my brains.”

  “I want your body, and your brain is a refreshing change.”

  I turn, place my palm on his heart, and meet his glance. “How so?”

  “I like talking with you. I like what you have to say.”

  My heart wobbles a little. “That means a lot to me.” Probably more than he could ever know. “I like talking to you, too.”

  “Of course, there are other things I like doing with you.”

  I laugh, and when it dies down, I ask, “Have you been with a lot of women?”

  “Yes,” he says honestly. “You?”

  “I haven’t been with any women.”

  “Smart-ass.”

  “I’ve only been with one guy.”

  He stares up at the ceiling, goes quiet for a very long time, then breaks it with, “Tell me about these men in your world.”

  “I go on dates.” I pause. “When I remember.”

  “When you remember?”

  I give him a sheepish look. “I’ve forgotten a time or two.”

  “No surprise there,” he jokes.

  “Hey.” I whack his chest, and he takes my hand in his, brings it to his lips for a kiss.

  “Keep talking.”

  “When I was younger, and guys paid me attention or invited me over, it was usually to do their homework or help them with a problem they were having. That never really changed as I grew up.”

  “Fuckers.” That one word shows his concern, and it warms me.

  “I guess I’m used to guys using me for one thing or other.” He arches a brow. “I’m not talking about you.” I wave my hand back and forth. “This is mutual.”

  Nate goes quiet again, but now that I’ve open the door and stepped into the personal, I want to know more.

  “Nate.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What is it you have against relationships?”

  “Superficial women aside, I have no staying power,” he says honestly, and it takes me by surprise. I shift on the bed and sit cross-legged as he stretches out on the mattress.

  “Really?”

  “A different mother might have raised me than my brothers, and I might be the black sheep, but when it comes right down to it, I’m no different from them—or my father. We go from place to place, and that makes relationships difficult.”

  “I can understand that. You said you never do sleepovers.”

  “I always leave, Kira. It’s what I do.” I love that he’s honest and forthright with me, and in no uncertain terms, he’s letting me know we don’t have a future. Not that I’m looking for one.

  Liar.

  But it’s impossible, and we both know that.

  “Why?”

  A deep, garbled sound catches in his throat. “I’m sure Dr. Phil would say, I leave before they can leave me.”

  He’s joking, but I sense a deep hurt in him. “Your mom left, didn’t she?”

  “Yeah. I wasn’t enough for her, I guess.” He turns his head, stares out the window.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It was a long time ago.”

  Ah, that familiar canned response I once gave him.

  I put my hand on his cheek. “I really am sorry, Nate.”

  Our eyes meet, lock in a warm, intimate gaze. “Thank you,” he says, his voice soft around the edges.

  “And just for the record, from the stories you told me, I think you are different from your brothers.”

  “I’m the black sheep of the family. My older brothers are tight. They treat me like I’m still a kid, one who has no idea what he’s doing. But I do. Soon enough, they’ll realize it. I don’t need to prove myself to them, but we are family, and I don’t care if they respect me or agree with me. I’m just doing what needs to be done, whether they like it or not, and they need to keep out of my way.”

  I nod. Family is important, it is to me, and it obviously is to him, too, but no one should ever be treated like the black sheep, and I get brotherly love and teasing, but his brothers were bullies, through and through.

  “If only we could pick our families,” I say.

  “How come you don’t want kids?” he asks.

  I shrug like it’s nothing, but a knot tightens my gut. “Children aren’t practical in my world, and I’d never bring one into my life if I couldn’t be devoted. It’s not fair to the child. I know that firsthand.”

  “You’re not your mother, Kira.
”

  “My work is my baby,” I say, my voice hitching.

  His gaze intensifies as he looks over my face, and I guess there’s no hiding anything from him. I want kids, but long ago resigned myself to the fact that men don’t see me as marriage material.

  “What about you?” I say. “Do you want kids? You’re pretty great with Brett and Liam.”

  “I like kids,” he says. “But like you say, sometimes they’re just not practical. My dad was absent. What do I know about being a good role model?”

  “You’re not your dad.”

  “Touché.” He goes quiet, and his brow furrows.

  “You okay?”

  “I am,” he says. “Just some work stuff on my mind.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Boring.”

  “Hey, you listened to me talk about my work.”

  He shifts to his side and puts his arm under his head. The room is cold, so I take the blankets and pull them to his chest. “My father is breathing down my back.” He goes quiet, then opens his mouth like he wants to say more. Instead, he rolls to his back, shoves his arm under his head, and exhales. I guess whatever his father is breathing down his back about is going to stay between the two of them. I’m not sure why I’m upset that he doesn’t want to open up.

  Oh, because you’re invested in him, Kira.

  Still, I’ve not told him about the studio. I’ve been keeping it close to my heart, not ready to open up, fearing once I do the floodgates will open and might not close again. It was such a special place for us.

  “Parents,” I say and shrug. I glance around Gram’s room and laugh slightly. “I wonder what Gram would think of the two of us in her bed.”

  “She just wants you happy, Kira.”

  I am happy.

  Because of Nate. Because of this B&B. This town. The sense of family.

  A storm erupts inside me, and I swallow past the lump in my throat. Tears I fight desperately to hold back pool in my eyes, and I try to squeeze them away.

  “We should have a party,” he says.

  “A party?” I manage to get out without sounding like I’m about to bungee jump off a bridge without a safety harness.

  “A celebration of life, for Gram. I think it might give you the closure you need, and since no one in the town really got to mourn…”

  My heart tumbles over the damn bridge, free falling without a net as I lift my head to stare at the man stretched out on my bed, his position relaxed, casual, like he hadn’t just offered me the most precious gift in the world.

  How could a girl not fall for him?

  Chapter Eighteen

  Nate

  I fix the toque on Kira’s head as she pulls on her mittens. At least Gram and Kira had the same size feet, and her winter boots fit.

  “All set?” I ask the crew.

  “Let’s go,” Sam says and opens the back door, just as Brett is ready to knock.

  “Hey guys,” I say.

  “Who wants to ride with me?” Jason asks as he swings his car keys around his finger.

  “Me,” Izzy says.

  “Me, too,” Cody answers as he rounds the corner, pulling one of Gram’s toques onto his head.

  “Shotgun,” Sam yells.

  “I’ll take Kira and the boys. Kira’s car isn’t going anywhere with those tires.”

  We all head outside, and the crisp air nips at our skin. Everyone piles into their cars, and I put the crazy carpets the boys brought, along with the ones I found in the shed out back, into the bed of the truck.

  “I’m going to break my neck, aren’t I?” Kira is asking the boys when I climb into the driver’s seat.

  “No way,” Brett says.

  Liam pipes in with, “It’s so much fun.”

  I adjust my rearview mirror, and two smiling faces stare back. I ignore the weird tug in my chest, right around the vicinity of my heart. Going sledding with the family is something I would have killed for as a kid, and this, right here, Kira in the front seat, the boys in the back, feels a little too real. My property here needs to be ready sooner rather than later because all this playing house is fucking with me.

  I start the vehicle and turn up the heat as Kira shivers beside me. Snow crunches beneath my tires as I leave the driveway and hit the main road, which has already been plowed. I drive slowly, and the sun peeks out behind the cloud, lighting up the ice on the trees.

  “My God, it’s beautiful,” Kira says, her eyes full of childlike wonderment. She takes her phone from her pocket and snaps a few pictures.

  I catch up to Jason’s vehicle and follow him to the big hill at the edge of town. When we arrive, there are dozens and dozens of vehicles parked along the road, and at the bottom of the hill, off to one side, someone has set up a hot chocolate stand.

  “I think the whole town is here,” I say.

  We all hurry from the truck, and I grab the crazy carpets from the back. The sound of kids squealing, shrieking, and laughing reaches our ears, and the boys take off.

  “Come on, Kira,” they say. “We’ll all go down together.”

  “I’m not so sure about this,” she says as the boys run up the hill.

  “You’ve got this,” I assure her, and give her a little nudge with my shoulder. She smiles up at me.

  “You’re kind of an adrenaline junkie, aren’t you?”

  I laugh at that. “Adrenaline junkies jump from planes and go bungee jumping off cliffs. This is sledding.”

  “It’s like bungee jumping to me.” I make a move to go but get a snowball to the back of my head. I turn and find Sam and the crew laughing and running up the hill.

  “Oh, it’s on,” I call out.

  We walk through the patted down snow and reach the top of the hill. Kira glances around and takes in the beauty around her.

  “I can’t get over how gorgeous this is. I’ve only ever been here in the summer, and I sure missed out on this.”

  “Time to make up for that.” I drop the crazy carpet and go to my knees. I pull Kira down with me and gather a fistful of snow. “Pretend I’m talking to you and it’s serious, okay?”

  She gives me a quizzical look, and I throw the snowball, catch Sam in the back of the head. He turns, and from my peripheral vision, I catch him looking at me. But what he sees is Kira and me in deep conversation as I point to the hill like I’m explaining how this goes down.

  “You’re bad,” she says and stifles a chuckle.

  “He has no idea it was me.”

  Sam turns back to Cody and Jason, and I biff another snowball at him. He spins, and I continue to talk to Kira, but her shoulders are shaking as she laughs. I steal a sideways glance and catch Sam bending to grab a fistful of snow.

  “He’s onto us,” I say, and jump on the sled, pulling Kira on with me, and push off. I wrap my arms around her as she shrieks, and we both go down the hill fast. The boys are in front of us, and Sam and the guys are yelling as they try to catch us. We reach the bottom, and Kira is grinning from ear to ear.

  “Let’s do it again.”

  “Fun, right?”

  Someone tackles me from behind, and I faceplant in the snow. I roll and shove Sam off me. Jason holds a hand out and pulls me up.

  “Nice one, Sam,” I say. “I probably deserved that.”

  “Yeah, you did,” he says as he laughs and jumps up. “Come on, Kira. You’re coming with me.” He grabs her hand and practically drags her up the hill. The boys scoop up their sleds and follow them up.

  “Want to get a hot chocolate?” Jason asks as I brush the snow from my clothes and face. I walk with him, and he gestures with a nod of his head. “I think Sam plans to get her to fall in love with the town so she’ll stay.” He glances at the two as they climb the hill. “Think it’s working?”

  I turn my attention to t
he two and fight down the pang of jealousy as Sam wraps his arms around her and they push from the top of the hill. “I don’t know. Her life and work and family are in Victoria, and I don’t think she’d sell the house if she didn’t have to.”

  “If we raise enough money, she won’t have to.”

  “It’s just not that simple, Jason.”

  He nods. “Yeah, I know.”

  Jenny from the Grand Banker is at the table serving up hot chocolate. “Hey, guys, what are you two doing here?”

  Jason jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Kira’s never been sledding before.”

  She pours us each a hot chocolate and drops in a couple of marshmallows. “Any takers on the B&B?”

  “No,” I say. “Bad time of year to sell.”

  Jenny snaps her fingers. “I’m sure it will just take the right person to fall in love with it, and it will go like that.” She glances at me and narrows her eyes. “Nate, right here,” she says, and brushes her cheek with the tip of her finger. I wipe my mouth. “No here,” she says and reaches out, runs her thumb over the side of my face. “Marshmallow.”

  “Thanks.”

  Just then, Sam, Kira, and the boys show up to warm their bellies.

  “I want extra marshmallows, please,” Brett says, and I like that he used his manners.

  “Me too, please,” Liam says, and Jenny hands them both their hot chocolate, brimming with marshmallows.

  Kira gratefully accepts a cup, but her mood has changed. “You good?” I ask.

  She smiles, but I know her well enough to realize it’s forced. “I am. That was fun. But exhausting,” she says. She takes a small sip of her drink. “Mmm, delicious. How nice of Jenny to set this up.”

  “Very nice,” I say and stare at her for a moment. Is she jealous that Jenny touched me? I’ll have to ponder that later. I check my watch. “These plans of yours—what time do you need to get back?”

  “Around two. We have a lot of time.”

  “Good,” Sam says. “I want to hit the hill a few more times.”

  “Same,” the boys say. We all walk to the nearest picnic bench and sit with our drinks.

  “Nate, is the pond out back of Gram’s frozen yet?” Brett asks.

  “I’ll have to check it,” I say and sip my hot chocolate. “Why? Do you want to skate?”