His Reason to Stay: In the Line of Duty, Book 6 Read online

  “Come on, Rachel.” James pulled her to him and brushed her hair from her shoulders. “She did pay for the wedding.”

  “That doesn’t give her the right to have a say on everything we do, and you know I didn’t want her to pay for it in the first place,” she shot back. “This whole elaborate wedding is what she wants, not me.”

  Rachel broke from the circle of his arms, stepped back, and put her hand on her forehead. Would her entire marriage be like this? Irene manipulating her son and twisting things until she got what she wanted? When would James ever stand up to her? His whole life he’d done everything to please his folks, their approval being the most important thing in the world to him. Maybe even more important than me. That realization stopped her cold. Her stomach clenched, equal amounts of anger and sadness curdling her blood as that truth penetrated her soul.

  “It will be fun at Fox Point.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his laundered beige khaki pants. “We can go swimming, boating, have a bonfire.”

  “We do those things every other weekend,” she countered, her voice rising to the point of hysteria, despite the fact that she didn’t want Irene to overhear their private conversation. But she couldn’t help herself. What James did next was important in so many ways. “This is our honeymoon, James. The beginning of our future.”

  “This time it will be different at Fox Point, because we’ll be married.”

  Her head started spinning. Did he really believe that?

  “This isn’t even about our honeymoon anymore,” she shot back. “Don’t you see? She’ll never think I’m good enough for you.” She drew in a breath and let it out slowly, her insides twisting as that truth settled in the pit of her stomach like a clump of cold oatmeal. “She doesn’t want us married, James. She’s trying to drive us apart.”

  He gave her a look that suggested she was crazy. “That’s not what she’s doing. She has our best interests at heart.”

  “She has your best interests at heart.” She shook her head, her heart aching. “You didn’t even stand up for me.”

  “What did you want me to do?” His voice turned hard as he went on the defense. Good God, if he could hold his own against her, why the hell couldn’t he do it with his mother?

  “I wanted you to tell her you’re a grown man and can make your own decisions. That Hawaii was your idea, and how much you’ve been looking forward to going. It’s all you’ve been able to talk about.”

  “But she did have a good point.” He smoothed a hand through his short hair. “We should be thinking about our future.”

  Heartache set her chest on fire. “You’re right. We should be.” She twisted her ring off, letting the decision settle in her brain. “And since you’re always going to take her side over mine, you two can go to Fox Point and figure out what that future is.” She threw the ring at him, and he flinched. The diamond clattered to the floor, and right on cue, his mother stepped back in to the foyer.

  “Rachel, come on.” James reached for her.

  She dodged his hand and turned. Tears spilled down her face as she opened the front door and a burst of sunlight blinded her as she hurried outside. James started after her but Irene stopped him. The two exchanged words as Rachel ran down the stone walkway, not daring to look back. The last thing she wanted to see was his mother flashing her perfect white teeth in victory.

  She hopped into her car and swatted at her tears as she turned the engine over and drove away. She sped through the street, having no idea where she was going until she drove past Sky Bar. When she spotted Kyle’s motorcycle, the tears fell harder. She’d missed him so much when he was overseas. He’d taken leave and come home early for their wedding, to stand as James’s best man, but he seemed to be making himself scarce. The engine sputtered as she shut down the car and hurried from the vehicle, desperate to talk to Kyle. He’d understand. Unlike James, he never needed his parents’ approval and lived life the way he wanted.

  The instant she pushed through the bar’s heavy doors, he lifted his head like he could sense her presence long before he could see her. The second their eyes met in the dimly lit bar, he shoved his beer away and jumped from his chair so fast, he sent it flying backward. His comrades all turned to see what had caught his attention as he hurried toward her. Long legs made quick work of the distance as eyes identical to his brother’s remained latched on hers. While the two guys were unnervingly similar, there was a toughness about Kyle, a thickness to his muscle and a hardness in his eyes that his brother lacked. Perhaps it was from his years spent overseas, or from opposing his folks for so long. The strain had to be hard on him. Either way, he wasn’t a man who let anyone push him—or her—around.

  “What’s wrong?” He dragged her into his arms.

  She sagged against his chest, taking comfort in the strength of his embrace. Her tears soaked his shirt as she breathed in his familiar scent—sand, sun, and beach on a warm summer day. She tried to talk, but her words came out garbled.

  “Hey, Rach, come on.” He ran his hands through her hair, a gentle touch that helped calm her nerves and chase the chill from her body. “What is it?”

  “James,” she said.

  He stiffened, put both hands on the side of her head and pulled her from his chest. She tilted her head, and his eyes moved over her face. “What did he do?”

  “Nothing.” She choked out. “That’s the problem.”

  He frowned, confusion backlighting his eyes. “You’re not making sense.”

  “I left him,” she said. “I gave back the ring. It’s over.”

  Air left his lungs in a whoosh and washed over her cheeks as conflicting emotions flashed across his face. “Rach…” he began, his voice rough. “This is a mistake.”

  “He never stands up for me, Kyle. He’s canceling our honeymoon plans because your mother doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Hawaii was his idea. She’s always interfering, always making up his mind for him.”

  A spark of understanding moved over his eyes as his jaw seesawed from side to side. He pulled her back, and hugged her tighter, his heart thundering against her cheek.

  “Okay, let’s get out of here.” He exchanged a look with his comrades then put his arm around the small of her back to lead her outside to her car. He kept her close, guiding her around the parked cars until they reached her driver’s side.

  He brushed her hair from her face, and looked her over, a careful assessment. “Are you okay to drive? I had a couple beers with the guys and I shouldn’t be behind the wheel.”

  “Yeah,” she said, her nerves much calmer than when she’d first arrived. Kyle always made everything better.

  Kyle wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks, the pads of this thumbs rough against her skin. He dipped his head and she caught the sweet tang of beer. “Are you sure? If not I can call us a cab.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Okay.” He opened the door for her and she climbed in. His eyes remained locked on hers, worry lingering in their stormy depths as he crossed the front of the car and hopped in to the passenger side.

  She sat there staring at the wheel. He put his hand on hers and she turned toward him. Her heart missed a beat. He’d been away too long.

  He gave her hand a squeeze. “Where to?”

  She didn’t want to go back to the apartment she still shared with Sara, and sitting in a coffee shop in the state she was in was out of the question. “The bluff, I guess.”

  She drove twenty minutes until she reached the spot where they all hung out in high school. They parked at the foot of the hill and hiked to the top, and she turned her face to the late-day sun, her thoughts a jumbled mess. Kyle put his hand on her cheek to gain her attention.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  She leaned into his hand, and he drew her close until her body pressed against his. With her emotions in turmoil, she circled her hands around his waist and relaxed into his strength, taking comfort in him being there.

  “It’s over,�
�� she whispered, her hands splaying over his back, his hard muscles tightening beneath her touch. His breathing became a little more ragged and she listened to his throat work as he swallowed.

  “You need to go back,” he whispered, his voice so strained it was hard to understand him. “You two are meant for each other. You guys can work this out, Rach. I know you can.”

  She shook her head, her damp cheek brushing over his chest. “No, I’m not going back, not if he keeps letting your mother run our lives.”

  “I’ll talk to her. I’ll tell her to back off.”

  “You shouldn’t have to, and it will cause more tension between you all anyway.”

  “I don’t care. She has no right to interfere.”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over.”

  “Rach…” he began, a note of desperation in his voice as it dropped an octave.

  A moment passed, and he touched her chin, lifting her eyes to his, but it wasn’t her eyes he was looking at. As he zeroed in on her mouth, he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. He drew a ragged breath, the hand he had on her face shaking. Her insides trembled. There was nothing casual in the way he was looking at her. It stirred all the deeper emotions inside her. His eyes snapped shut, like he was waging some internal war, and when he opened them again, they were the deepest shade of blue she’d ever seen.

  “Kyle,” she began, but lost all train of thought when his lips came down over hers.

  Chapter Two

  Present Day, five years later

  Air evacuated Kyle’s lungs as he stood on the cracked and pitted sidewalk stealing glimpses of Rachel as she pushed her daughter, Ava, on the swing at Glenmore Community Park. The last time he’d seen them was a little over two years ago. Ava had only been a toddler when they’d buried her father.

  Kyle’s stomach clenched, never having gotten over the passing of his brother. As a military man he was used to death, but the loss of James had damn near killed him. His muscles tightened, flattening the gift bag he had in the crook of his arm as he gripped the chain-link fence surrounding the park. He squeezed the wire until his knuckles turned white, and sucked in a quick breath, desperate for air. Desperate to keep himself in check as he watched mother and daughter at play.

  Rachel.

  Jesus Christ he loved her so fucking much. His years on the battlefield did little to diminish his love for her, but she wasn’t his—she never had been. He needed to remember that. They’d been so close years ago, but after she’d started dating his brother, and the two began down a path that didn’t involve him, Kyle had no reason to stay in Austin. He’d upped and joined the army right out of high school, and began one of many tours overseas.

  He’d only been home twice since James and Rachel had gotten engaged. Once for his brother’s wedding. Once for his funeral. Both had been painful.

  Rachel laughed as she pushed her daughter higher and higher, and as the sound wrapped around his soul his mind went back to the afternoon at the bluff—even though he’d long ago vowed never to think about it again.

  He’d made a horrible mistake that day, one he’d never forgive himself for. Rachel wasn’t in her right mind, and taking her into his arms and making love to her might have been the sweetest moment of his life, but he never should have given in to the things she’d aroused in him. Never should have let his weakness for her—or her emotional vulnerability at the time—overshadow sensibility. While he’d like to blame his lack of self-control on the beers he’d put back with the guys, that was pure bullshit and he knew it. Then again, he could also try to convince himself that she’d been split from his brother when she’d come to him, so technically they hadn’t cheated. But that was nothing but a load of crap too.

  He was a grown man, one who knew right from wrong, which was why immediately after making love to her, he’d tried to convince her to go back to James and work things out. The two belonged together. Of that he was sure. But she’d refused, cancelled the wedding and stopped taking James’s calls, even though everyone knew she still loved him. But her future wasn’t with Kyle, despite what had happened between them and he’d told her that. After another few weeks of reflection, and a lot of hard work and groveling on James’s part, she’d come to realize what Kyle had always known—she belonged with James. Unlike Kyle, James was a great man, one with a bright future in front of him.

  James.

  Christ, he was the best older brother a guy could ever ask for. He was the world to Kyle, and Kyle would have done anything to make sure he received the parental approval he so desperately needed. He wasn’t sure why James constantly needed their consent; perhaps it had something to do with being the first-born. Regardless, Kyle had always put James on a pedestal and stood in the shadows of his greatness for many years. In fact, he went to great lengths to ensure he stayed in those shadows during their youth. But that didn’t stop the guilt of betrayal from eating his gut like a goddamn parasite, and now he was determined to prove himself an honorable man.

  Rachel laughed at something Ava said, the sound seeping under his skin and touching his darkest corners. His heart squeezed. The last time he’d seen her she had the strain of loss written all over her face. Now here she was, finding some semblance of happiness as she picked up the pieces of her life.

  As if sensing him there, her eyes lifted, and the smile fell from her face when their gazes collided. She went as still as a stealth soldier as the swing came back and hit her across her hip. Her hands grasped for air as she stumbled backward, and Kyle pushed though the chain-link gate and darted across the playground. He dodged dogs, small children, and strollers as they crossed his path, needing to get to her.

  When he reached her, he found her flat out on the ground. He dropped to one knee and cupped her elbow. His thumb slid along her skin. Warm, silky soft, the way he remembered. His heart pumped faster than a military issue rifle, but it had little to do with his quick sprint across the park.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I…I…Kyle?” She blinked three times and stared at him, like she was trying to figure out whether he was a figment of her imagination or not.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” he said softly. “I’m really here.”

  “What?” she whispered, her hair tangling beneath her as she shook her head. “When?”

  He captured her hand and pulled her to her feet. His gaze left her face to look her over. “Are you hurt?”

  “No.” She wiped shaky hands over her shorts, brushing the grass from her clothes with a little more force than necessary. “I’m okay.”

  “Mommy?” a small voice asked.

  “Ava.” She scooped her daughter up on to her hip, and held her close. “Oh, honey, are you okay?”

  Dressed in a frilly pink princess gown, Ava touched her mother’s face with tiny fingers, a frown tugging down the corners of her mouth. “Mommy, why did you fall down?”

  “I slipped. I’m okay. I promise,” she said, her words coming out a little too fast. She was trying to present a calm demeanor, and actually might have succeeded with someone else. Someone who didn’t know her as well as he did.

  Coming to her rescue and giving her a moment to catch her breath and get herself under control, Kyle turned his focus to her daughter. “Hi, Ava. Do you remember me?”

  Ava looked at Kyle and shook her head, her blonde curls bobbing around her face.

  Rachel tugged on her daughter’s dress, to smooth it over her knee. “This is Kyle. He’s your…” She stopped speaking, and shifted from one foot to another.

  Christ, he’d really thrown her off. He hadn’t meant to. He thought stopping by instead of calling might ease the awkwardness of seeing each other again after all this time. He’d been wrong.

  “I’m your uncle,” he said.

  Ava looked a bit unsure. “What’s an uncle?”

  Kyle laughed. “An uncle is a friend of your mom’s who brings presents.”

  Blue eyes that mirrored her father’s went wide and focus
ed on the gift bag under his arm. She pointed a small finger. “Is that mine?”

  He nodded and Ava squirmed until Rachel set her down. Rachel straightened and smoothed her hair back. Unable to help himself, he reached out and pulled a strand of grass from her hair.

  “I must look a mess.” She quickly, finger-combed her long, brown curls.

  “You look fine, Rachel.” As beautiful as ever, actually.

  Her face turned a shade of pink that matched her daughter’s dress, and she looked everywhere and anywhere but at him. As Ava stared at him, he handed her the gift bag.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” Rachel said.

  “I wanted to. Besides I have a lot of birthdays to make up for.”

  Ava took the bag. “Thank you,” she said.

  Kyle smiled at Rachel. “She’s very polite. She must take after her uncle.”

  Rachel laughed. “I don’t think politeness was ever your strong suit, Kyle. You mostly said what you wanted and did what you wanted. Don’t you remember the fights you had with your parents?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, how could I forget?” Truth be told, Kyle might have been the younger sibling, but everyone considered him the golden child. Everything he did he excelled at. There wasn’t a ball he couldn’t catch, a bat he couldn’t swing, or a touchdown he couldn’t make. The teachers even wanted to bump him up a grade in school and place him in his brother’s class. He couldn’t allow that to happen, so he let his grades slide and dropped out of every sport his parents put him in. He constantly fought with his folks for not applying himself like James. But he didn’t care. James was more important to him than their approval.

  “How long are you home?” Rachel asked, dragging his thoughts back.

  “Not long. I’ll be here for Easter, and then I’ll be shipping out.”

  She smiled, but he could tell it was forced. Did the sight of him remind her too much of James? Their betrayal at the bluff? Not that she was in any way responsible. She was in a fragile state of mind when she’d come to him, and he’d taken advantage of that. Fuck, how could he have been such a selfish bastard?