The Risk Taker Read online

  “I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

  “I’ve been with women, Fallon. But I always use a condom. Always.”

  “Oh, okay,” I say, and swallowing down the disappointment rising up in my throat, I begin to squirm out again.

  He presses down on me. “No, you don’t understand. I want you. Condom or not. I want you and what I meant was, I’m clean. I’ve never had sex without a condom before. Not even with…”

  He lets his words fall off, but he doesn’t need to finish the sentence for me to understand. “Fuck me, Jamie. Put your cock in me. It’s what I want.”

  With a nod, he presses his mouth to mine, and powers into me. Air leaves my lungs in a whoosh as he spreads me wide, fills me in a way I’ve never been filled before. He stills high inside me, giving me a second to catch up.

  “You good?” he asks after a long moment.

  “Better than good,” I answer and move my hips. He growls into the hollow of my throat.

  “I’m so fucking close already,” he murmurs, and inches out, only to slide back in again. I put my legs around him and run my hands through his damp hair as we fuck, both taking and giving what we need to sate the physical ache inside us.

  I instinctively match each thrust as our bodies join as one. It’s as though they were always made for each other. He thickens more inside me, and I groan.

  “You feel so good,” I cry out, and run my nails along his back. His muscles bunch and clench, and it’s strange how I like the idea of marking him, like the idea of seeing my scratches on his back come tomorrow.

  “Maybe I am having second thoughts,” he whispers into my throat. “Maybe I want to keep on fucking you, Fallon.”

  “Jamie,” I say as his thrust become harder faster. He shoves a hand between our bodies and presses down on my clit. “I…I…” I swallow, as my mind shuts down and pleasure races through me, centers between my legs.

  “Let go, Fallon. Come all over my cock.”

  I briefly pinch my eyes shut as sensations roar through me, grip my sex hard, and a second later, I’m vibrating all over his beautiful cock as it pistons into me. A soft moan of pleasure rises from my throat as my hot juice tickles my inner thighs and coats his cock.

  “Holy fuck, that’s hot,” he murmurs, and throws his head back, his cock powering into me with blunt, hard strokes that are for him now. He pumps, and his eyes shut as he chases his own orgasm. I stop spasming, but squeeze my sex muscles and his body tightens. His grunts, and his face contorts and I’m sure I’ve never seen him look more beautiful.

  “I feel you,” I cry out as he stills high inside me and spills his seed into my body.

  “Fallon,” he growls as his cock continues to pulse. “Jesus, Fallon.”

  I hold him tight, our hot wet skin clinging as he falls on top of me, still buried deep in my body. His breathing is harsh against my neck, and I rake my hands through his hair. We stay that way until he grows flaccid and pulls out. He rolls, pulling me with him, and I rest my head against his chest, taking pleasure and comfort in his strong heartbeat. My lids feel heavy, but I don’t want to sleep. No, I want to stay awake and enjoy every second of this for as long as I can.

  His breathing changes, grows more shallow and when I think he’s fast asleep, I speak into the silence of the room.

  “Thanks, Jamie.”

  6

  Jamie

  “Thanks, Jamie.”

  I was almost asleep when those sweet words, spoken so softly and so sincerely pull me from my slumber and have me wanting to bury myself in her again and again. I lift my head and glance at the beautiful woman falling asleep on my chest. As I gaze at her, one thing hits. I should go. I should run as far away as possible. I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve to be in her bed, and more importantly I don’t deserve to be thanked. Not after everything that had happened. She lost Ethan because of me.

  That thought gives me pause. My younger brother was wild and reckless and at times when we were growing up, he could be a real selfish prick. But he was my younger brother, and I loved him. Still, no man should ever make a woman feel bad about herself. A spike of anger prowls through my blood and burns me from the inside out. Then another thought hits. In the heat of the moment, Fallon said she hadn’t been touched in years. Were they no longer intimate, no longer having sex?

  Speaking of sex, I told her I wanted more.

  Not my wisest move, but in the heat of the moment, I knew one night was never going to be enough, not when it came to Fallon. Sweet Fallon, who, if I’m being honest, I’ve wanted for far too long now. But somehow, some way, I’m going to have to make last night enough. She deserves better than me in her bed.

  Fallon makes a soft, content whimpering sound in her sleep, and her arm slides across my body, pinning me down. If I move now, I’ll wake her, and if she looks at me with those soft, sated eyes, I’ll never be able to make my escape. I have no choice but to stay put until she moves to her own side of the bed.

  With that last thought, I try to quiet my mind, catch a few minutes of sleep before I sneak out under the cover of darkness. The next thing I know, the sound of Chase running in the hall wakes me. I turn and find a wide-eyed Fallon looking at me.

  “Oh, no,” she says.

  “Shit, I fell asleep,” I say. “I didn’t mean to.”

  “Not your fault, Jamie. I fell asleep too.” She slides off her pillow, and goes deeper under the covers. “He shouldn’t see us like this.”

  The bedroom door flings open, and I shift so Chase can’t see his mother’s outline beneath the sheets. Chase stands at the doorway and blinks.

  “Daddy?” he asks, his eyes big and confused at seeing me in the bed, and my heart jumps into my throat.

  “No, it’s me, bud,” I say, my voice a bit shaky. “Uncle Jamie.”

  He rubs his sleepy eyes, and my throat tightens as he frowns. “Where’s Mommy?”

  “How about some pancakes?” I say and change the subject.

  “I want to stir.”

  “Of course. You’re the best stirrer I know. Why don’t you run into your room and grab your dinky cars. I’ll be right there.” He makes a motor sound, and flies down the hall. That gives me enough time to pull on my pants and shirt.

  “I’ll be down in a few minutes,” Fallon whispers from under the blankets.

  “Take your time,” I say. “I’ll keep him busy.”

  “Thanks, Jamie.”

  This time I don’t bother saying anything. Instead, I dart into the hall, and help Chase carry a plastic bucket full of dinky cars downstairs.

  “Where’s Mommy?” he asks again as he looks around the kitchen.

  “She’s coming down. She was just busy,” I say and the explanation seems to be good enough for him. I pick Chase up, set him on the counter and dig in the cupboard for the pancake mix. “Okay, buddy. Ready to make your mommy some breakfast?” I ask.

  He nods and I pour the batter and milk into a bowl. I hand him a fork, and as he stirs, I go about getting the coffee ready. No doubt after such a frightful awakening, Fallon will need a cup or two when she comes down. I turn at the sound of her rushed footsteps in the hall.

  “There you are,” she says coming into the kitchen, and Chase’s face lights up when he sees her. Heck, so does mine. Jesus, she’s incredible. Need wells up inside me as I take a moment to admire her flushed face, a bit rubbed and red from my stubble. Barely able to catch my breath, I gaze at the long column of her neck, where her pulse raced against my tongue last night. Her hair is a tumbled mess, and her full breasts press hard against her too snug AC/DC T-shirt that I hadn’t seen her wear in years. My gaze falls to take in frayed shorts that showcase her curvy hips. I’ve never seen her more beautiful. Decadent.

  “Mommy, I’m making pancakes again,” Chase says.

  She gives me a grateful smile. “I can see that. You’re such a great help.” She steps up to him, gives him a hug and a kiss, and for a momen
t I stand there, wishing I was the recipient of her attention.

  “Morning,” she says to me quietly, her knuckles brushing against my arm as she reaches into the cupboard to grab two mugs.

  “Coffee will be ready shortly,” I say and she smiles.

  “Mmm,” she moans, and stretches out her limbs. “A girl could get used to this.”

  Her words race through me, remind me I’m not supposed to be here this morning. Fuck man, I shouldn’t even have slept with her last night. We obviously need to talk, and I need to reinforce that last night was a one-night thing, despite what I said.

  Maybe I want to keep on fucking you, Fallon.

  Christ, what a dumb-ass thing to say. I mean, I can’t deny that it’s true—I want her between the sheets again—but I never should have spoken the worlds out loud. When it comes right down to it, we both agreed to one night, and I’m sure Fallon wants that too, although judging by the way she keeps brushing up against me, maybe I’m wrong about that.

  “You good?” I ask quietly.

  Dark lashes fall slowly over her blue, sated eyes, and I have to say, the morning after a round of sex is a good look on her.

  “Yeah, you?”

  I lower my voice. “Yeah, but I think we need to talk.”

  Her eyes widen, but she quickly pulls herself together and nods. “Yeah, sure.”

  Just then her cell phone rings, and she frowns. “Who could that be?” She reaches for her phone, and slides her finger across the screen. I grab the milk, pour a splash into our mugs, and she puts her hand over the phone and mouths the word, “Realtor.”

  I nod, and go about making our coffee. I hand her a cup and she gives me a grateful smile.

  “How’s that batter, buddy?” I ask Chase.

  “I want to go swimming,” he says, and it takes me back to my phone call with Cole. I have no doubt Chase would love to spend time at the beach with kids his own age.

  “Looks like he’s coming by shortly,” Fallon says as she slides her finger across the screen to end the call.

  I glance at the clock. “It’s kind of early, isn’t it?”

  “Early bird gets the worm,” she says, and Chase groans.

  “I don’t like worms, Mommy.”

  “Have you ever been fishing, Chase?”

  He shakes his head no, and once again I think of the cottage. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Cole texted me yesterday. All the guys are going to the beach for the next couple weeks. There will be a couple kids there as well.”

  “Are you going?” she asks.

  “I don’t know. Just putting it out there. I thought Chase—”

  “Oh, you’re asking if we want to go.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  She glances at me over the rim of her mug. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I have so much to do to get this place ready. But you should go, be with the guys.”

  “We’ll see.” Why the hell am I so disappointed when I thought it was a bad idea anyway?

  Chase squirms on the counter. “I’m hungry.”

  “Okay, little man,” I say. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

  I grab a pan, heat it and pour the batter in. Soon enough we’re all sitting around the table, and Chase points to the ink on my arms.

  “What is that?” he asks and for a brief second I fear he’s pointing to the scratch marks Fallon left on my body.

  I glance down. “What’s what?”

  “That,” he says and points to the tattoo of the Stanley Cup.

  “This is because our hockey team won a few years back. It’s called the Stanley Cup.” I take a bite of food and wash it down with a swig of coffee. “Have you ever played hockey, Chase?”

  He shakes his head no, and it crushes me. Ethan had about as much interest in hockey as I do in ballet. But what’s really bothering me is Chase is going to grow up without a strong male influence and the fact that he’s going to miss out on so much. I don’t want to get involved. Fuck knows I’d only end up letting them down, but maybe I could take him to the rink, let him try it, at least once.

  I cast Fallon a quick look. “It might not hurt for him to go to the rink.”

  She smiles at me. “I’d be okay with you taking him.”

  “If he likes it, you could sign him up in the fall.”

  “I could do that,” she says, grinning at me like the cat that ate the canary. What is that all about?

  “More coffee?” I ask.

  “Sure.”

  I grab her cup and fill her up. We make small talk as we finish breakfast, and once the dishes are cleared, and Chase is off playing with his toys, I grip her hand, tug her to me.

  “Last night,” I begin, her body so close to mine it’s all I can do to keep a coherent thought. “It was—”

  “Amazing.”

  I chuckle. “Yeah, that it was, but I said things I probably shouldn’t have.”

  “You aren’t the only one.” She bites her lip and glances down.

  That gives me pause. I don’t want to delve into the personal here, but I suspect it’s a bit too late for that. “Can I ask you a question? If you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to.”

  Nodding, she gathers her hair in her hand, pulls an elastic from her wrist and ties it up, exposing the long column of her neck. My mind goes back to last night, to the way I buried my face in that hollow of her throat as I came inside her. I fight down a growl of longing, and work to pull myself together.

  “Were you and Ethan having problems?” Her entire body goes stiff, and it instantly answers my question. “That’s what I thought,” I say quickly.

  Her lashes flash rapidly over blue eyes. “I never should have said anything about Ethan, Jamie. I’m sorry. In the moment, I—”

  “It’s okay. It’s me, Fallon,” I say softly. “We used to always talk, remember.”

  “I remember,” she says so quietly I have to strain to hear it. “The truth is, Jamie, we were having problems. He was away from home more and more, and I tried to lose the weight, but it wasn’t easy and I think that could be one of the reasons why…” She lets her words fall off and turns from me, but not before I catch the pain in her eyes. What is she’s not telling me?

  “Fallon?” She opens her mouth, like she wants to say more, but then closes it again. “I loved my brother,” I state.

  “You were good to him and he was a good father when he was home,” she says quickly, and it doesn’t go unnoticed that she left out that he was a good husband, and that he in turn was a good brother to me. I’d been too busy with hockey and getting engaged, and Sara’s pregnancy to realize their marriage was failing. Once again, I let Fallon down.

  “I’ll always love him, but that doesn’t mean I always liked or agreed with everything he did or said.” I take her hand in mine, turn her toward me. “There is no excuse for what he said to you, or how he treated you.”

  Tears pool in her eyes. “Jamie, I can’t…”

  “Okay, I just want you to know that.” I scrub my face. “Also, last night, being with you. Jesus, Fallon.” I exhale slowly and shake my head. “But I don’t think we should do that again.”

  “I understand,” she says. “It was a one-time thing. I think we just both really needed each other and I don’t want it to come between what we have.”

  I give her hand a squeeze. “It won’t.”

  “Promise,” she says.

  “I promise.”

  “Thanks Jamie.” A growl rises in my throat but it’s drowned out by the doorbell. “That was fast,” she says, and I follow her to the door. She swings it open, and on the stoop, a middle-aged man dressed in a button-down shirt and dark grey dress pants gives her a big toothy smile.

  “Fallon?”

  “Yes.”

  “John Harrow,” he says and holds his hand out for a shake. “So nice to meet you. Marion said you were looking for a realtor.”

  “That’s right and I appreciate you coming so quickly.”

 
“My pleasure,” he says and after Fallon invites him inside, his gaze lands on me and he nearly fumbles.

  ‘You’re…you’re…”

  Fallon laughs. “John, this is Jamie Adams. But I suspect you already know that.”

  “Nice to meet you, John,” I say and shake his hand.

  “I’m a big fan,” he gushes, and I grin at him. “I never got to meet you when I sold your Mom and Dad’s place, but I watched every game you played.”

  “Thanks. Always nice to meet a fan.” Chase comes running into the room, making noises and pretending he’s driving a race car. I scoop him up. “This little guy is Chase, and we’ll get out of your way so you can have a look around.”

  I open the closet door, where Ethan kept his sports equipment, and grab two ball gloves and a ball. “Come on, bud. Let’s go out back and play catch.”

  The warm mid-morning sun beats down on the backyard as I fit my hand into the glove and hand Chase the smaller one, which is still too big for his little hand. We toss the ball back and forth for a bit until Chase grows bored.

  “I want to go swimming,” he says and eyes the dirty green pool.

  “You know what.” I toss the ball up into the air and catch it in the glove. “The pool is going to be cleaned tomorrow, so maybe we’ll be able to get in it afterward.”

  “I want to go now,” he pouts and I toss him the ball.

  I glance up as Fallon and John step outside to examine the back yard. Chase takes the ball and tosses it up in the air—mimicking me—and tries desperately to catch it in his too-big glove. As I watch him the full weight of my influence over him hits me. Goddammit, I can’t take that on. What if I fuck it up? I’ve fucked up enough as it is.

  “Pool cleaners are coming tomorrow,” Fallon explains. “And I know just the person to help with the gardening.” She gives me a smile, and I know Mom would love that.

  “Well, other than clearing out a bit of the clutter, and cleaning up back here, I think the place is in great shape. We can get it on the market right away.”